Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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