We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
