god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So vagazzling was a success
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
