He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize