Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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