ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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