Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
