He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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