You're so nebulous sometimes
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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