"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
