Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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