If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
