sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
