just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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