This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize