He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
