I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
