She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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