if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
