She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
