True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
