ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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