i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
