My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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