Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
