Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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