thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
