She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
