Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize