I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
