whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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