I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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