Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
