i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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