Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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