You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
