what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
