I hope mine doesn't look like that
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Never joke about your clitoris.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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