i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
