considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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