You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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