I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
