Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
