No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Actions speak louder than pants.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
