I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize