I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
