TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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