Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
