WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
