Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
