He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Randomize