I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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