it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
