no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize