How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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