we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
