You work out of a Hotel?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
