I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just had sex bonerless
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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