I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude i'm inner monologue high
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I AM VODKA MAN
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it π
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Nah, weβre just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize