that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
