He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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