So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i came on her dog
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize