There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
