Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
