half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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