I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
