i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
