dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
