it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
