is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
