chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
