i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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