i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
