He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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