can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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